Througout this journey I have been searching for the meaning of Happy. Not what happy is but what exactly I want to have in my life that makes me happy.
I have to say that all this introspection has been kind of a roller coaster ride.
As I mentioned in a post early on–Freaky Friday–being happy and finding the happy life for yourself is not an easy proposition. First of all, because no one is an island and our decisions effect others.
Secondly because many times when we set out to find our happiness, to live our happiness and to express that happiness–many people will call us selfish.
There it is. And while I thought everyone in my life was on board with my happiness like I am on board with theirs, I found I was wrong–oh so wrong!
Wow–eye opening! And a little heart breaking.
Luckily, I have given myself the time to journal about it and to think about it and have spoken to my husband about what makes me happy and what doesn’t make me happy in my life. Even luckier–he supports me in all my feelings, asks good questions to help me think some more and I know he always has my back.
One thing I always knew about myself is that I am happy when others are happy and when good things happen to them. Whether they be family, life-long friends or acquaintances.
For example–recently an ex-coworker of mine posted on Facebook a beautiful picture of herself at her wedding with her new husband. She looked radiant and both looked happy! I sent her a very heartfelt Congratulations! and she later responded with an equally happy Thank You!
She is not a good friend, but from the few interactions I had with her at a previous employer I knew her to be honest, hard working, cheerful, dedicated and kind. Why wouldn’t I be happy for a person being happy and in love?
Conversely–two lifelong friends really surprised me this year. One accused me of not keeping in touch often enough and that I “have changed”. She was hurt I had not kept her up to date on my life–even though in my opinion, nothing noteworthy had really happened that I needed to check in with her about.
I spoke to her and caught her up and she was fine. I also reminded her that the cell phones, text messages and emails of today work both ways. She did not get it, but was happy to hear all the mundane details of my life, my craft projects and my blog–which she said she “really needs to make time to read someday.” She cracks me up!
And so, that was a little over a month ago and you’ve guessed it she has not contacted me with an update on HER life. Hmmmm. Does that take away from my happy? No! She’s probably busy! I know that we will connect again somewhere down the line–it is the way of a steady friendship.
Another lifelong friend, however, is not a happy person and seems to be very bothered by people who are happy. Not good–for her–because that is not going to take away from my happy either! I can’t let it. While none of us is an island, I fully believe it is not selfish to choose the people that will be in our lives.
Now that I am in the Empty Nest, Over 50 club I don’t have time to indulge folks that just want to bring others down, are envious, or that can just not be happy for other people. I may still have to associate with them, I may still have conversations with people like this but I don’t let it bother me and I don’t give what they say, believe or do much importance.
In my search for happy I have found that I already am happy. I have had a wonderful life so far–even my bad times in life have not been as bad as others have had it. I can always find the silver lining, I can always fight the good fight, stand for what I believe in and enjoy the happiness of others.
I encourage you to do the same. Find your happy. Journal about what you think might make you happy, eliminate (as much as you can) the things that don’t make you happy and keep fighting the good fight.
Reach for your dreams or redefine them so that you can reach them step by step–this is your life, and we are only given one. The search for happy is important–indulge yourself!
If you’d like to see some of the other things that make me happy check out my Pinterest Page–Empty Nest Saavy! Have a great week and have fun!