Revisiting the Journey

Revisiting the Journey

9 months ago…I started this blog–as a hobby.  There were several reasons for this: 1) I love to write and would someday like to be a writer. 2) I was a new empty nester and felt that this was a good time to start something new. 3) I was searching for answers.

Let me take these reasons one at a time.  I love to write and have been writing all my life–since I was a little girl. I wrote short stories and poems.  In College, I became an English major hoping to learn how to be the next great American author, only to be told by a professor I admired that my writing was too “predictable and my characters were transparent.”  Funny the things we remember.

She was wrong, of course, but to a young naive college student it was very disappointing to hear. Luckily I also fell in love with History and graduated with a double major!

My grandmother knew of this love of writing and told me to write, –write a book, write anything–even if no one reads it–write.  And I have, throughout my life–although nothing was ever completed, submitted or published.

As a new empty nester–I felt a little lost at suddenly having to step back and let my kids live their own lives after I had been pouring my life into them for the last 20 years.  I love being a mother–it is one of my great successes in life–and my girls, my greatest accomplishments.

Without them, I’ve had to redefine how I spend my time.  And so I have been searching for answers–about myself.  I mean, my greatest accomplishments have moved out and are successfully living their lives–just as I always hoped they would.  While parenting never really ends–it does change.

So I decided to write and be published–even if by myself. I am loving it, the creation of it, the research, the process.

Some of my blog posts are really good (if I do say so myself!) and some are not–just kind of  “meh”, but I am writing and discovering many things about myself.

I think back to the beginning of this journey and the steps I promised to take.  I have given myself permission to grieve the end of my daily mothering days and I have celebrated all the things I have done right and the independence of my two girls.

The last step I promised myself–creating a plan for the rest of my life–has not exactly materialized yet.  I have taken a few unexpected side roads in the last 9 months–all necessary and all good–in helping me discover which road I would like to continue towards.

Like my writing–half the fun is seeing where it will take you.

I hope you are enjoying my posts as much as I am enjoying writing them–and that you are discovering the journey you want for your life as well!

Getting to Know You

Getting to Know You

There is no person on this earth that you need to get to know more than…yourself.

Especially as you get older and change. And you should be changing, all the time, as you age.

Every day we encounter new things, new ideas and people and new experiences.

This will change you–at least it should.

Your basic personality, of course, stays pretty similar day to day and year after year, but you are never the same person you were yesterday.

If you strive to be the same person or worse portray to the world that you are the same person year in and year out, then you are not growing.

Worse, you know yourself but you are unwilling to show the world who you really are because it may not be who others want you to be.

So you need to get to know yourself and you need to learn how to share who you are with others.

Now, that does not mean that you behave badly, are inconsiderate of others and just expect people to deal with you whether they like it or not.

But it does mean you need to associate with people that are similar to you and like minded.

For example, if you are a kind and generous person you will not want to be with people who are the opposite– always taking advantage of your generosity.

If you are an honest and moral person, people who are not are going to rub you the wrong way. Why aggravate yourself?

Let those people spend time with each other since they share the same values–or lack there of.

You are a reflection of those you spend the most time with…and if you know yourself you will be better able to choose people that will build you up and not try to tear you down.

Those people–I guarantee–know themselves and they do not like who they have become, so they spend their time trying to bring others down to their miserable existence.

As we grow and change and get older it is okay to let go of people in your life that do not serve to add to your happiness.

Wish them well and move on. Don’t worry about what they have to say about you and let it go.

Getting to know yourself means you are comfortable with who you are, in your own skin and that will help you be happier. After all, wherever you go, that’s where you’ll be.

The Beginning of the Journey in 3 Steps

The Beginning of the Journey in 3 Steps

Hello!  I am on a new journey and I would like you to come along for the ride.  Hopefully, the ride will be meaningful for you too!

My nest is now empty and my husband and I are starting a new–and different–chapter in our lives.  The chaos of a busy house is gone. We were so used to the noises a family makes: doors opening and closing, things moving around, people coming and going, garage-open, close, open, close. The dogs barking whenever one of us came home. Lights left on and sometimes even doors left unlocked in our rush of everyday life!  

Even the dogs are confused by the sudden quiet and emptiness in the house.  

The constant cooking and search for food has slowed down, the laundry is less (hooray!) and new patterns of life are evolving.

It’s kind of like a science experiment with no teacher in the front of the classroom to lead the way.

But some interesting things are taking place as well…we have more time and space. Ideas we have put on the shelf for many years are starting to come back to life. And while we are unsure what to do next…I have identified 3 things that you should do when your nest becomes empty:

  1. Give yourself permission to grieve.  It is a loss when the kids move out of the house. Not the permanent loss of death but an ending nonetheless.  Even though you know you will see your kids again–things will never be the same.  And I mean that in a good way! Your kids are doing what you trained them and expected them to do–spreading their wings and becoming independent.  And so….
  2. Give yourself permission to celebrate.  It is a wonderful thing that the kids feel strong enough in themselves to want to go out in the world and explore it!  You did a good job!  Celebrate the courage it took them to take this step and the courage it took you to let them!
  3. Begin to formulate THE PLAN.  The plan is the rest of your life. It can mean a great many different things and they are all exciting!

In this phase of your life you can create the future you want knowing that having gotten here was a major accomplishment and that there is so much more to come!

I hope you will join me as we create this new life in a faster, better and smarter way–for a future filled with memorable experiences!

Visit my Facebook page to join this group! And Congratulations on the Empty Nest!  We have made it this far–let’s continue the journey together!