9 months ago…I started this blog–as a hobby. There were several reasons for this: 1) I love to write and would someday like to be a writer. 2) I was a new empty nester and felt that this was a good time to start something new. 3) I was searching for answers.
Let me take these reasons one at a time. I love to write and have been writing all my life–since I was a little girl. I wrote short stories and poems. In College, I became an English major hoping to learn how to be the next great American author, only to be told by a professor I admired that my writing was too “predictable and my characters were transparent.” Funny the things we remember.
She was wrong, of course, but to a young naive college student it was very disappointing to hear. Luckily I also fell in love with History and graduated with a double major!
My grandmother knew of this love of writing and told me to write, –write a book, write anything–even if no one reads it–write. And I have, throughout my life–although nothing was ever completed, submitted or published.
As a new empty nester–I felt a little lost at suddenly having to step back and let my kids live their own lives after I had been pouring my life into them for the last 20 years. I love being a mother–it is one of my great successes in life–and my girls, my greatest accomplishments.
Without them, I’ve had to redefine how I spend my time. And so I have been searching for answers–about myself. I mean, my greatest accomplishments have moved out and are successfully living their lives–just as I always hoped they would. While parenting never really ends–it does change.
So I decided to write and be published–even if by myself. I am loving it, the creation of it, the research, the process.
Some of my blog posts are really good (if I do say so myself!) and some are not–just kind of “meh”, but I am writing and discovering many things about myself.
I think back to the beginning of this journey and the steps I promised to take. I have given myself permission to grieve the end of my daily mothering days and I have celebrated all the things I have done right and the independence of my two girls.
The last step I promised myself–creating a plan for the rest of my life–has not exactly materialized yet. I have taken a few unexpected side roads in the last 9 months–all necessary and all good–in helping me discover which road I would like to continue towards.
Like my writing–half the fun is seeing where it will take you.
I hope you are enjoying my posts as much as I am enjoying writing them–and that you are discovering the journey you want for your life as well!