So many people lately have invited me into their misery. Not only have I been invited but then asked why I am so happy all the time? I am chastised for being the “lucky one” by having to listen to their “horrible situation”.
They are all in a midsts of their own Pity Party.
I do not mean, that when bad, sad or truly unfair things happen to us we shouldn’t feel bad. We should. We should mourn the losses, we should cry at sad circumstances, we should get angry and we should get all the help needed to get through it.
And then, no matter how difficult the situation may seem we need to pull ourselves up from our bootstraps and move on.
Most people do–from truly horrible events–death of a loved one, disease, or the destruction of their home by a hurricane.
Those are not the pity parties I have been invited to.
The pity parties I’ve attended recently–not by choice, mind you, are miseries that are getting us nowhere. I listen–because that is what I do–and it gives people attention.
Attention, apparently, that they really need because no matter how well a person listens to their woes and encourage them that all will be well, they continue to pity themselves and to share their sorrows and indignations until everyone around them (who have been invited to the party) disappear!
No one wants to attend their pity party! Especially when they are so upset because…
…their children are young and they are so tired because it is so much work,
…their children are big now and making choices of their own,
…they hate their job, their boss is unreasonable, and can you believe they got in trouble for being late…ONE time?
…they have a lot of debt and are broke,
…they are single and cannot find the love of their lives,
…they are married and the love of their lives is getting on their last nerve,
…they are young and no one understands their “struggle”,
…they are getting older and are feeling “unneeded”,
…they are going through “the menopause”
…they are indignant that their politician did not win.
And on and on and on. What is happening to us? As a society, a community, we are falling apart! We are creating all kinds of suffering that is not really real just so that someone else will pay attention to us…
So here is what I have to say–to those throwing these parties and those of us who ended up on the invitation list.
If you are throwing the pity party–STOP!
I mean really stop, and think for one moment how lucky we are to be living in this moment in time–with the kids, with a job, with politicians we can debate about and yes, even with “the menopause”!
Stop feeling sorry for yourself over situations that you got yourself into, have the power to get yourself out of and are truly “just life”–nothing bad has really happened to you!
Be thankful everyday for your wonderful miserable life. So many people in the country and the world–have it so much worse!
If you are the lucky devil getting invited to these pity parties–STOP attending!
Walk away, make a polite excuse and get out of that party as soon as you can. It is best that you don’t attend at all–don’t get sucked into bringing the wine!
We are not helping the miserable soul get on with it by attending–pity doesn’t help anyone–the pity-er or the pity-ee.
So please, save your invitation–I’ll be uh…busy training my elephant that day…You have one life people, enjoy it!
Drop me a comment below–or feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org!