Making the Most of Marriage

Making the Most of Marriage

Marriage is hard work. Some people make it look easy.

I’ve been reading a few books lately about people with successful, happy marriages and their secrets.

I have also spent some time thinking about people in my life who have had long, successful marriages and what have made it so.

There are two things that are present in all these examples: Trust and Communication.

Sounds pretty easy and foundational right?

I was amazed when I asked a few friends what trust and communication looked like in a marriage to find how many struggled to come up with a definition or example.

Here are my thoughts. Trust in marriage is simple to define if you have it. It means that every aspect of your life is safe in the hands of the other person.

That means that each half of the couple looks out for the other physically, emotionally, financially, and spiritually.

And here’s the best part of trust in successful marriages: this trust is given and received automatically by both parties without having to discuss it, measure it or ask for it.

It just is.

Communication, likewise, in loving and successful marriages is almost a natural extension of the marriage itself.

It means the couple is willing to communicate about anything and everything. It does not mean the couple has to agree.

But both are free to express themselves verbally or non verbally and know that the other will respect and accept their opinion.

It just is.

That is what makes it not hard to define, but hard to achieve. It takes time to develop and it takes practice and work to keep it consistent so that a marriage will stand the test of time, trials and testaments.

Making the most of your marriage is a worthwhile effort and looking back years from now to see the success and strength in your relationship is a blessing.

And it all begins and ends the same same way: with trust and communication.

Trusting the Process

Trusting the Process

Trust the Process.  I’ve heard this a lot lately.  On the news,  in a talk show, on a YouTube video, I keep hearing this phrase: “trust the process”.  What process exactly are they talking about? And are the people using this phrase really sure what it is supposed to mean?

When I heard one particular person say it–and knowing who she is–it occurred to me that “trust the process” for her was “just do it the way I want you to do it.”  Hmmm.  

So in my endless curiosity, I went to the Internet.  I know, I know, not everything out there is a good source or even accurate–but at least there is a great deal of information I can sift through to decide what something really potentially is.

So the urban dictionary defines it this way: “Trusting the process involves supporting a team who is tanking on purpose in order to hoard draft picks as well as assets.  Trust the process, also abbreviated as TTP, is somewhat cult-like at times.” (urbandictionary.com)

O-kaaaay?  

Yeah that doesn’t make any sense. Especially in the contexts I keep hearing the phrase.

In a couple of other articles, the gist is a person should “trust the process” specifically meaning trusting a company or employer to address issues within its organization while the consumer or employee waits to see what, if anything will be done regarding the issue, thereby “trusting the process” that the “right” outcome will always win out.

Yeah. That sounds a lot like “just do it the way I want you to do it” also…while issues, disagreements and situations are ignored, swept away and disregarded.

Very not cool.

What’s funny, is that the way the phrase is being used is almost meant to sound motivational.

So I kept searching.  And I found this on conniechapman.com:

“To trust the process means to know and have faith that there is a divine plan moving through you and your life in any moment.”

Ok I can handle that.  I know there is a divine plan out there and I trust that we should trust that. I know that everything happens for a reason.

Having faith in a divine plan also means that you have a purpose in life and I wholeheartedly believe that we do have a defined purpose, but I also believe that reaching and fulfilling your purpose takes work.

And hard work to reach the life you want to live is what it is all about as long as you are not compromising your values. Working towards your true goals in life to create the life you really want to live is–and should be–the most important reason for doing everything you do.

The road may be a difficult one but if your intentions are pure you can have the life you want to have as it was intended. In this sense we should trust the process–our process!

Don’t let others define what you should do or who you should be with a popular and catchy phrase. Be true to yourself, honor your goals. Look for the answers to your next steps inside of yourself and know that your hard work will pay off.

Have a wonderful Friday!  Trust yourself to know your heart and have fun!

Comments are welcome below!